Thursday, May 20, 2010

fast and furious cars 2010

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There are a select few movies where the stars don’t act. They don’t fight, they don’t cry, they don’t yell, they don’t display any emotion at all. No, I’m not talking about the new Star Wars trilogy, I’m talking about car movies. These ten films’ actors were completely overshadowed by the autos they drove, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

1) The Fast and Furious (2001, 2003, 2006, 2009)

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Did the original movie make me buy a $600 cat-back exhaust system for my Ford Focus? Absolutely. Am I glad I didn’t end up getting those racing stripe vinyls I wanted? You bet. The initial appeal of these movies is to see fast cars go fast, but after you come for the nitrous, you stay for the dialogue. How many young teens heeded that sage advice from Ja Rule, “One of the things that we knows is, it’s not how you stand by your car, it’s how you race your car!”

2) Bullitt (1968)

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Just because a movie came out over thirty years ago, that doesn’t mean it’s good, and Bullitt is not particularly good. Yes, it’s got Steve McQueen, who is awesome, but the story is just rather, eh. But the movie is a classic, and it’s for one reason only, the green Bullitt Mustang. The car was a character in itself, and has been replicated by Ford in many iterations over the years, although none have lived up to the original.

3) The Transporter (2002, 2005, 2008)

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The movie is technically about the guy IN the car, but whatever, we just want to see cool car tricks. The Transporter series is more or less one really, really long BMW film (remember that old Clive Owen project? yeah), with the mission to get from point A to point B and not die. Each Transporter features a more ridiculous car stunt that the previous one. In the first movie, the car lands on a flatbed truck, in the second, it does a corkscrew knocking a bomb off of it’s undercarriage, and lastly, it drives full speed on the top of a moving train. I expect rocket boosters to be involved in Transporter 4.

4) American Graffiti (1973)

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Why can’t life be like this again? Just cruising up and down the street with several hundred of your closest friends, not having a care in the world besides flirting with the girls next to you or leaving a rival’s car in the dust. But sentiment aside, there were some truly wicked cars in the movie, most notably one beautiful girl driving one very elusive ‘56 Ford Thunderbird.

5) Speed Racer (2008)

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Did anyone come to see Speed Racer for the plot, really? Kid races against evil in order to do something or other. There. Now onto the racing. The psychedelic car on car death matches were the only reason anyone bought a ticket for this movie, either that or out of a twisted sense of nostalgia, clinging to the hope that a Wachowski Speed Racer would be anything at all like the original Hannah Barbara cartoon. Say what you will about the narrative structure, but these twisting turning tripping car races were one of the most stellar spectacles to ever hit an IMAX screen.

6) Cannonball Run (1981)

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Loosely based on the real life cross country Gumball Rally, Cannonball Run took the event and turned it slapstick, with a bunch of buffoons all sprinting across the country to see who could hit the other ocean first. The movie is largely dismissed as ridiculous, seeing as it has characters like Roger Moore playing a guy who thinks he’s Roger Moore and Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. driving a Ferrari. But what more could you ask for in a movie?

7) Death Race (1973, 2008)

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The original Death Race was one of the first movies to predict the dissolution of civilized society into monstrous autos toting weapons, and the remake? Well, it had Ian McShane, so it wins. People came to see Death Race for the car on car mayhem that resembles something out of Twisted Metal on Playstation, but with less serial killing clowns and more Jason Statham.

8 ) Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

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Sure, this was a pretty solid movie all around, but the cars were the main eye candy, and that’s saying something considering Angelina Jolie was in it. Fifty gorgeous cars sat ripe for the picking, including one that had a personality all her own. Eleanor remains one of cinema’s favorite autos, and if you’re lucky you might pick her up at a Barret Jackson auction for 500G or so.

9) Mad Max (1979, 1981, 1985)

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Death Race may have been fine and good, but if you want futuristic death cars, look no further than the Mad Max series. Post apocalyptic earth left its inhabitants to squabble over gang territory and gasoline, so the only solution is to armor up your car and kill everyone you meet.

10) Transformers (2007, 2009)

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The greatest trick product placement ever pulled? Convincing the world it didn’t exist. What GM ad? These are just the robotic stars of the movie that all happen to morph into cars resembling those that may be GM subsidiaries! Transformers is without a doubt the definition of a movie where the cars play lead roles, and to such an extent that I can’t even fathom would be possible in any other movie. What better way to promote your new Camaro then to have it transform into a four story robot who proceeds to shoot missiles at your competition’s five story evil Mustang robot? None, the answer is none.

fast and furious cars
fast and furious cars
fast and furious cars


fast and furious cars

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